TYPED OUT #12: PLASTIK VAGUETTE

PLASTIK VAGUETTE - bonded with Token Asian during freshman year because they were the only two ethnics in the program. After not being cast in any coveted roles, Plastik Vaguette decided that something drastic needed to be done in order to become successful.

Plastik Vaguette didn't come into his own until after his sugar daddy bought him a hair transplant...plus blue contacts, a new chin, cheekbones, pecs, calf implants, MAJOR skin lightening treatments, brow lift, neck lift, gum raising, a full set of new teeth, and a Brazilian butt lift during their courtship. 

He is now besties with Princess Coquette and models for regional car shows. 

TYPED OUT #11: SILENT BUT DEADLY

SILENT BUT DEADLY - could be described as the queen of self-diagnosis. Her best friends in college were WebMD and her trusty chalkboard (which she used to express her feelings while on vocal rest). 

Silent But Deadly left her conservatory program after they discovered she had single-handedly spread H1N1 to the entire campus. She is now living in a bubble in a laboratory run by the state's Dept. of Health.

TYPED OUT #10: TEACHER'S PET ROCK

TEACHER'S PET ROCK - When she wasn't annoying her non-theatre college roommate with her daily 5AM vocal warm-ups and 9PM "lights out" rule, Teacher's Pet Rock could be found outside her favorite teacher's office armed with a color-coded show binder and a triple grande 2-pump hazelnut soy latte.

Though she may have graduated as her professor's darling little errand girl, Teacher's Pet Rock found that no one was willing to take her under wing in order to better navigate the NY theatre scene.

After a depressing two years of unfulfilling temp work, Teacher's Pet Rock finally found her happy place in NY's Young Republican Club, the Oldest Young Republican Club in the country. She is now in charge of organizing the club's monthly social and is dating a Junior Associate at a Manhattan law firm.

TYPED OUT #9: CHUBBY LITTLE BELTER

CHUBBY LITTLE BELTER - spent his formative years with his grandmother, eating Twinkies and watching her shows. He always wanted to be "just like Hope Brady on Days of our Lives" and auditioned for his local college's theatre arts program. But he soon realized that his body type wasn't quite the svelte loveliness of Kristian Alfonso. Ever pragmatic, Chubby Little Belter took a look at his grandmother's other favorite show (reruns of Designing Women) and found his new idol: Delta Burke. 

Chubby Little Belter originally entered college as a Merman-esque powerhouse, but quickly switched to Actor Training after his classmates kept taunting him with "You'll be swell. You'll be great. As you reach for a third dinner plate!" 

After taking multiple "Acting for the Camera" classes, Chubby Little Belter decided that the whole "camera adds 10 pounds" thing was awfully unfair. He moved to Louisville, KY and started the local branch of the "Delta Burke Fan Club." He has five cats named Dixie, Delta, Annie, Jean, and Meshach.

TYPED OUT #8: UNCASTABLE UNDERDOG

UNCASTABLE UNDERDOG - barely survived his undergrad career by taking the leftover bit parts in every mainstage production. However, after some new headshots, a very patient vocal coach, and not eating for a year, Uncastable Underdog is now playing Fiyero in Wicked. His new book, "I Didn't Eat For a Year" will not sell like hot cakes...because no one is eating carbs anymore.

TYPED OUT #7: SASSY GOAT VIBRATO

SASSY GOAT VIBRATO - was inspired to go forth into the musical theatre world after watching all 5 performances of a community theater production of Showboat. Despite warnings from her vocal and acting coaches that she would "never make it in the business," Sassy Goat Vibrato used her father's connections to get into her 3rd choice conservatory program. After graduation, Sassy Goat Vibrato found a job working at Toddler Tunes and married a wealthy lesbian senator.

TYPED OUT #6: PRINCESS COQUETTE

PRINCESS COQUETTE - Voted "Most Likely To Be On The Broadwah" senior year of high school AND college, Princess Coquette became a true triple threat after mastering singing, dancing, and the drug/alcohol blackout. Princess Coquette moved to Beverly Hills to pursue a film/tv career, but she quickly dropped out of auditioning after getting fat (ie. pregnant). She has since divorced her husband citing "irreconcilable differences" after he told her that he wouldn't buy her a tummy tuck for Christmas.